How Can I Avoid an Unsafe Massage?
October 18, 2024
How Can I Avoid an Unsafe Massage?
You might be nervous before your first massage and asking yourself, “How can I avoid an unsafe massage?” Or maybe you had a bad experience and want to know what is unmistakenly considered appropriate behavior and what is not. I can help.
The overwhelming majority of massage therapists are ethical, skilled professionals focused on helping people relax and heal from pain and injuries. However, there are a very small portion who are not ethical. With the guidelines below, you will have some tools to help you spot the difference between the two.
Red Flags in Massage Therapy
Every company that employs massage therapists is different. Some do excellent screening, vetting, and training of their employees, but some don’t. So don’t assume that every company, even well-known franchises, has done what’s necessary to hire appropriately.
Always be on the lookout for red flags, which are comments or behaviors that make you feel uncomfortable or uneasy. A red flag tells you that a person is dangerous. Listen to your gut feelings that your mind and body are communicating to you. If you encounter these red flags, stop and leave.
Red Flag 1: Check Their License and Education
Before you visit a solo practitioner massage therapist for the first time, check online to see where they went to school. The minimum requirement is at least 500 hours of training; of course, more is better. If the massage therapist works for a chiropractor, spa, or franchise organization, their license has generally been verified, as well as a background check. Large spas or chains will typically file therapist licenses and not usually post them anywhere.
If you’re at a private office and not at a large spa or chain, first check if the massage therapist you’ll be seeing has an up-to-date license hanging prominently in their office. If they don’t, ask them if they are licensed and why they have not posted it. If they get defensive, leave. This is not an ethical person or place. Most therapists have their licenses posted in their office or their waiting room, and if they don’t, they will be happy to show them to you.
Red Flag 2: Intake Questions
When you first meet an ethical and professional therapist in the massage room, they should do an intake: asking you questions about what you’d like and if you have any injuries, pain, or conditions they should be aware of. If you’re going for a relaxation massage, the intake will be relatively short. If you’re with a therapist who specializes in working with injuries and pain, pregnancy, cancer, and so forth, the therapist will ask you many more questions.
If the therapist does not conduct an intake, that is a red flag. It shows a disregard for professional standards of care.
Red Flag 3: Level of Undress
Before you undress for your massage, an ethical therapist will tell you to undress to your level of comfort and let you know that if you want to leave your undergarments on, that is perfectly fine. A therapist pressuring you to take all of your clothes off is a red flag. If you do not want to completely undress, any therapist pressuring you or trying to make you feel bad in any way is an unethical therapist.
Excuse yourself and leave. Do not have this person touch you. They are, at a minimum, uneducated and dangerous.
If you are already on the table and the therapist suggests that it will be easier to work on your lower back if you remove your underwear, stop the session, ask the therapist to leave, get dressed, and leave. None of this is ethical behavior.
Red Flag 4: Draping
When you are on the table, a therapist will cover your body with a towel, sheet, or blanket so that you feel secure and appropriately covered. This is called draping. A professional, ethical therapist uncovers only the area they will be working on and then covers it again when they move to the next area.
If the draping is loose, tends to slip off, or if you don’t feel adequately covered this means the therapist is an unskilled and possibly unsafe person. Either way, don’t take your chances. Stop the session and leave.
Red Flag 5: Pressure and Pain
A regular relaxation massage should not be painful. A professionally trained therapist will check in with you regularly and ask if the pressure is too much or too little, or just right. A skilled practitioner will usually sense what the right pressure is, but they will also check in with you. If the therapist hurts you while you are getting your massage, speak up immediately and tell them to use a lighter touch.
If they do not respond to your request and keep giving you pain, this is the sign of an unprofessional therapist, someone with little regard for their clients. Don’t see them again, and let them know why.
Red Flag 6: Self-Disclosure
During your massage, the therapist should not talk about themselves, ask you very personal questions, or talk about charged topics like politics or religion. Massage therapists are trained never to have that type of conversation with a client while giving a massage.
Doing so is a red flag and shows that this therapist does not have very good interpersonal boundaries. It could be that they are just an overly friendly person who is inappropriate, or it could mean that this therapist is a sexual predator starting to groom you before they do something inappropriate. Both types of therapists should be avoided.
Red Flag 7: Sexual and Other Inappropriate Comments
If a therapist makes inappropriate comments about your body, this is a red flag.
There is a difference between appropriate observations and inappropriate comments. For example, “Do you know you have a big scary mole on your back?” is an inappropriate comment. But “I notice a big bruise on your lower leg. Is that something I should be careful about?” is an appropriate question that aids a massage therapist with information so that they can provide the best care to you.
Any sexual joke or comment are big red flags and are inappropriate therapist behaviors that could stem from ignorance or provide clues to impending danger. If a practitioner ever tries to verbally engage you with sexual jokes or comments, you can say something like: “That comment made me uncomfortable. I would like to end the session. Please leave, so I can get dressed now”.
Red Flag 8: Inappropriate Touch
If a therapist ever touches you in a sexual way, on the genitals or the female breast, you should say, “Stop” in a loud voice, sit up immediately, and tell the therapist to leave the room so that you can get dressed.
When you leave, if it’s a clinic or company, report the person immediately to the management and then call the police and report the therapist to the licensing authority of your local government. If they are a solo practitioner, call the police and the local massage board to report them.
How to Stop a Massage
I recommend you try out these scripts to stop a massage session immediately. Just like a fire drill, the practice will help you feel more prepared in the future and will allow you to take action quickly and decisively.
Say, “Stop,” in a firm and loud voice. “Leave the room now. I want to end my session immediately.”
These are some of the ways to spot red-flag behaviors and strategies to leave a massage session immediately. Because whether or not a therapist is just unprofessional with poorly developed boundaries or is a sexual predator, you should avoid therapists who exhibit any of these red flags. Sexual misconduct in a massage setting is relatively rare, but if it happens to you, it can be devastating.
In my next blog, I will write about the stages of grooming a predatory therapist will try before they move on to overt, inappropriate sexual touching.
Watch this blog for more patient safety recommendations, and if you’re in need of a professional massage therapist who focuses on chronic pain relief and rehabilitation, you can book an appointment with Dr. Benjamin here.
Ben E. Benjamin holds a Ph.D. in Sports Medicine and has been an expert witness in cases of sexual assault in a massage/spa setting since 2004, advising lawyers, testifying in depositions and trials, and writing reports. His expertise extends beyond massage therapy and ethical behavior. He also advises spas, both large and small, on the creation of comprehensive sexual assault prevention strategies that ensure safe and ethical practices in the industry.