6 Gateway Areas for Grooming in Massage Therapy Sessions
October 24, 2024
6 Gateway Areas for Grooming in Massage Therapy Sessions
A regularly scheduled massage is a good way to care for your health. They can be relaxing or help treat injuries you may have. In the United States, millions of safe and professional massages are given every month. Like in any field with direct patient care, though, sexual misconduct sometimes occurs, and unethical massage therapists will groom unsuspecting clients. To prepare and inform you, I’ll go over the 6 gateway areas that groomers will use in massage therapy sessions.
I’ll teach you how to spot inappropriate behavior before it leads to sexual misconduct. If you recognize these 6 signs and trust yourself, you can hopefully be prepared to interrupt the process and get out before something inappropriate occurs. In the overwhelming majority of cases, it is a male therapist being inappropriate with a female client, so these 6 signs are given through that lens.
Sexual Misconduct in Our Society
As you likely know, sexual abuse and misconduct occur in companies large and small and in every professional field: the entertainment industry, politics, healthcare, etc. It happens wherever there is a person with more power interacting with a person with less power. The massage and spa industry are no different.
Though only a small percentage of massage therapists are sexually inappropriate with select clients, it’s important to be aware of the grooming process that an unethical therapist will go through before they blatantly assault someone. This may occur slowly over the course of a few months, several massage sessions, or even in one session.
Sexual Grooming in Massage
First, what is the definition of grooming? Grooming in massage means the steps that an unethical therapist takes to test if you are a good target for them to be inappropriate with. They start with small, inappropriate actions to test your boundaries and to see how you react. They are assessing if you will: freeze or resist, speak up or keep quiet, report them or keep it a secret. If you “pass” their assessment, these unethical predator therapists will move on to larger, more sexually inappropriate actions.
Listen to Your Gut
Before we get into the 6 gateway areas, it’s important to note that these are just the most common and widely known grooming techniques. If a massage therapist ever makes you uncomfortable in any way, even if it’s not listed here, don’t ignore your feelings. Always listen to your gut when you sense that you are uncomfortable, afraid, or questioning if what just happened was an accident. If you are not liking the massage and can’t really relax but can’t put your finger on why, listen to your gut anyway. If you get a sense that your massage therapist is a little creepy and you don’t really want to be there, listen to those warning signals. These are all red flags that you should not ignore, don’t hesitate to stop the session at any time and leave
In a previous blog post, I also go over red flags that help you avoid an unsafe massage, so be sure to check that out for a full strategy on keeping yourself safe.
Gateway Area 1: Side Breast Tissue
One grooming technique a predator will often start with is grazing the side of the breast. They do this when a client is lying face down, and they are working on the client’s back. In a normal, safe massage, when a therapist’s hands go over the shoulders and slightly out, their hands will come down on the outer border of the back but will not touch the sides of the body or the massage table.
Predators use this gateway area by letting their hands come close to the massage table right at the top of the arm or armpits. They drop their hands toward the table as they begin to move down the back and touch the very edge of the breast. This could seem like an innocent accident to the untrained eye, but unless the therapist is just incompetent, it is very intentional. The predator therapist is trying to see if the client will react, either with a body movement or by saying something, or if the client does nothing and gives no response. If the client does nothing, the unethical therapist will escalate their inappropriate behavior.
Gateway Area 2: The Female Chest
Another common method for a predator therapist to begin the grooming process is to work on the pectoral muscles in the upper chest. No therapist should ever work on the chest without explicit permission from the client before the massage starts, and it is actually illegal to do full chest or breast massage in most states. There are two typical strategies for this gateway area. One strategy is for a predator therapist to suggest that a client’s entire shoulder region is very tense and that a pectoral massage would help. Another strategy is for therapists to work on the pectoral muscles without asking for permission.
Beware of a therapist who tries to convince you that working on your chest is a good idea. Immediately stop the session and leave.
If an ethical therapist receives a client’s request for pectoral message, they will massage the upper pectoral muscles and go no lower than an inch or two below a client’s collarbone. They will not touch the breast tissue at all.
When an unethical therapist receives permission or if their hands make their way to a client’s chest without permission, they will start massaging the pectoral muscles and begin slowly moving downward. If the grooming victim provides no negative reaction, the unethical therapist will begin to inch their way down onto the breast tissue or work in the center of the chest between the breasts and go down the breastbone. If there is still no negative reaction, they then proceed to grope the breasts, often ending up on the nipples.
Gateway Area 3: The Buttocks
The gluteus muscles of the buttock are often tense and can benefit from massage. A professional and ethical therapist will get explicit permission to include this area in a relaxation massage. One side is undraped at a time, and the therapist works on the buttock muscles. They never come close to the anus and never expose the crease between the buttocks.
In some contexts, like a large spa, they may have a policy that the buttock is never exposed and only worked on through the sheet, never skin-to-skin. A private practice therapist, though, usually works skin-to-skin while keeping a client’s private area securely covered.
Unfortunately, this area can also be used as a gateway area for grooming. A predator therapist may ask permission, or they may just proceed without asking a client at all. They may expose a client’s entire buttocks. They might work on the buttocks with a very light touch with their fingertips that feels more akin to foreplay than massage. They may work their way slowly toward the anus or the perineum, which is the area between the anus and the genitalia.
If a client is wearing underwear, the predator therapist may even ask them to remove their underwear so that they can work more easily on their lower back. However, this is just a ploy to assault people more easily. All massage therapists are taught to respect their client’s privacy, and an ethical therapist will never pressure their clients to be in a state of undress that is uncomfortable for them. If a therapist ever pressures you to remove your underwear or pulls it way down during a session, immediately stop the session and leave.
Gateway Area 4: Upper Inner Thighs
To make sure a client is comfortable and feels safe, an ethical therapist will drape the thigh so that the upper inner thigh is securely covered. The drape is placed at least 4 inches below the genital region.
A predator therapist uses the thigh as part of the grooming process. They usually start out with a normal massage of the thigh but will gradually work higher and higher. If a client is wearing underwear, their hand may touch the client’s underwear at the inner thigh. If a client is naked, their fingers may graze the client’s pubic hair.
Again, they are looking to see if a client will react. If there is no reaction, the predator therapist, in their distorted reality, takes that as cooperation and often proceeds to touching the genitals. They don’t understand that a client may have gone into shock and be frozen in fear.
Gateway Area 5: Therapist Pelvic Contact
The massage therapist’s pelvis should never touch any part of a client’s body. When standing at the head of the table, a skilled ethical therapist will stand over a client’s shoulder so that the possibility of the front of their pelvis touching their head is not possible. If a massage therapist is very tall and careful, they can stand above a client’s head without touching them inappropriately, but this isn’t recommended for most massage therapists.
Predator therapists will stand at the head of the table, with their pelvis directly in front of a client’s head, and work on the back. To reach the lower part of the back, they lean over so that their pelvis presses against the top of a client’s head. This is a very common predator assault that can look like an accident to the untrained eye.
Gateway Area 6: The Abdomen
It is uncommon for a massage therapist to work on a client’s abdomen in the course of a relaxation massage unless it is requested. Abdominal massage can be useful in menstrual cramping, constipation, or injury to one of the muscles in the abdomen. However, abdominal massage is not usually included in a relaxation massage.
The abdomen is a very sensitive area and is sometimes used by predator therapists as a gateway to inappropriate touch. They start by massaging the abdomen and work their way down below the navel toward the genital region. Abdominal massage should never go more than 2 inches below the navel and never anywhere near the pubic bone just above the genitalia.
Final Reminder
In all of the above situations, forcefully say stop as soon as you can. Try practicing so that you can do it easily and confidently. If you freeze and cannot move or say anything, that is a common response and is not your fault. Report the person to management, the police, and the massage board in your state as soon as you sufficiently recover.
Sexual assault is a crime. It may take you a day or week, a month, or a year until you feel ready to do something. If you are sexually assaulted, remember this is a traumatic event, and it may take a long time for you to recover and be able to take any action.
Watch this blog for more patient safety recommendations, and if you’re in need of a professional massage therapist who focuses on chronic pain relief and rehabilitation, you can book an appointment with Dr. Benjamin here.
Ben E. Benjamin holds a Ph.D. in Sports Medicine and was the founder and President of the Muscular Therapy Institute in Cambridge, Massachusetts. He is the author of dozens of articles on working with injuries and chronic pain as well as the widely used books in the field, Are You Tense?, Exercise Without Injury and Listen To Your Pain: The Active Person’s Guide to Understanding, Identifying and Treating Pain and Injury. Dr. Benjamin has been in private practice for over 50 years and teaches therapists throughout the country.